Kids at the inauguration and in other public spaces

One of the most memorable—and most discussed—elements of this Monday’s inauguration involved individuals who hold no official political power. Indeed, they are not old enough to vote even. And yet, in some ways, they stole the show. I am speaking here of J.D. Vance’s three kids.

On public display for millions of Americans to behold, there was a thumb-sucking toddler who had multiple band-aids on her fingers (as toddlers do). And then there was a bored-looking elementary schooler, who probably would have preferred doing something other than getting dragged to dad’s inauguration as Vice President. I hope his parents got them some pizza and ice cream later—I say as a parent who drags kids to occasional conferences and offers these kinds of incentives for co-operation.

But most telling of all have been the reactions to this presence of kids at a solemn public event. While some (myself included) commented on how sweet and adorable the kids were, and how it does the heart and soul good to see an actual family in public, others effectively suggested that kids do not belong in public spaces. Basically, this was the same old debate that we’ve been living through on a regular basis of late—the question of whether fidgety and sometimes not quite perfectly behaved kids belong in restaurants, NYC subways, churches, family weddings (kids-free weddings are a big trend!), conferences, and more.

The reality is simple: the less present kids are in public spaces, the less used everyone is to their presence in public—or even their very existence. This is the stuff that family unfriendly America is made of. And perhaps it goes without saying that the exclusion of kids from public places is inherently anti-women—since it is mothers who usually stay home with children, if they feel that they cannot bring kids to an event. (Ask me how I know)

The fact that we’re talking about kids at this week’s Inauguration should remind us how long it’s been since we’ve seen a presidential or vice-presidential family actually behaving like a normal family. It’s been, to be precise, since Obama—who famously went home for dinner at 6:30 every evening while president and was only willing to miss family dinner two nights a week.

Maybe—just maybe—we could all be more normal about it all, and a little more accepting of the reality that there’s a natural beauty and hospitality about welcoming kids to celebrations of this nature. Including kids in public events challenges the hyper-individualism of our culture, reminding instead that people (including politicians—whether ones we like or ones we don’t) do not exist in a vacuum, and family is good actually. Besides, events with kids naturally become more hospitable to adults too—less rowdy, more wholesome.

As I was looking for the quotation I was thinking of from Christopher Lasch’s The True and Only Heaven about this inclusive ideal of family life and intellectual hospitality, I found that John Fea had blogged about it years and years ago here. So just go read this excerpt—and reflect.