Summer is lots of fun, if you are willing to ignore the bugs and the excessive heat and make up your mind to just get on with it despite such annoyances. If you’re like lots of Americans this year, you’re hoping to have that fun within a budget – perhaps even, and especially if you have a family to feed in this era of outrageous grocery prices, within a very restricted budget. You might even be looking to have fun for free.
I don’t know about you, but when I search the internet for ideas in this realm, I often come up short. This is largely because internet idea lists are largely about getting kickback from clicks on affiliate links or otherwise making some money through product placement and the like. The result is that most of the “free” and “low-cost” ideas out there aren’t really low-cost for the average American family. It is kind of like when you search online for budgeting tips when you’re already running things on a budget and being relatively frugal. The internet is full of perky budget gurus suggesting that if you just stop buying a $7 latte every single day, your whole financial life will transform — but you don’t need to be told things that are so obvious or inapplicable.
Still, we all need ideas.
Well, here at the Arena, we aren’t playing that game. Instead, we’d like to share a few actual, realistic ideas on how to make family summer fun happen without breaking the bank. I’ll try to be relatively brief on each point, and then link to a longer exploration of the idea when I can. Here are ten suggestions to help you and your family relax and enjoy without worrying about your wallet:
1. Take to the shade.
If you don’t tolerate the heat well or sunscreen bothers your skin, try taking a hike in the shade rather than sitting miserably out by the pool or the baseball diamond in the sun. In my local National Park (Shenandoah), not only are temperatures usually ten degrees cooler than they are in the valley where I live, but the trails are almost all heavily shaded. A hike with the kids, followed by a homemade picnic for supper, will be much more successful than trying to take a regular walk in the neighborhood. If you bring enough bags of chips, even your teenagers may grudgingly agree to come along.
Annual passes to the National Parks are free to fourth-graders and their families, and if you don’t ahve a fourth-grader an annual pass is very cheap if you use it a few times per year. Finally, if you don’t have neighbors or natural open woods in which to hike for free, don’t forget to stop by your local library and ask if they loan out passes to local National or State Parks. My local library allows patrons to check out backpacks that include a pass to the local State Park, a butterfly net, a magnifying glass, field guides, and other fun stuff.
2. Rethink the library.
Speaking of the library, I’m sure you’ve already thought of stopping by the library with the family after work or, if you’re home, during the hottest or rainiest part of the day. But have you really thought through what is available there? Have you really taken full advantage of this resource? For example, my local library has wonderful books and lots of fun programs, of course. But there are also many other opportunities at the library that are easy to simply miss: my library offers board games for loan or use in the library, for example; passes out art kits to patrons for use in library contests; and has an enormous, walkable chessboard outside in the shade. The library also maintains a storywalk on a shaded path by the river, and switches the book out every month or so.
For older children and teens, libraries offer study rooms that can be used for Zoom calls with friends or for a special art or craft or writing project that isn’t too messy. Your kid can even host a book club there with his or her friends. And of course, libraries often welcome teen volunteers to come once a week and help with storytime, shelve books, or prepare art projects for small children. Finally, do not underestimate your library’s local history room. Have you ever taken a peek in there? Even kids who aren’t particularly studious can get lost in the materials there for quite some time, and you may well enjoy it, too.
3. Let Grow.
Let each of your kids or teens do a Let Grow project. The summertime, when less is going on and not much can entice your kid to move from his spot on the couch, is a great time to surprise him by telling him he can do something that you have never before allowed. Go through the steps – observe your child and help her prepare, if needed, and then let her have at it.
4. Let Yourself Grow.
Do your own Let Grow project. Yes, you. Maybe you used to build things with your dad but you haven’t done any carpentry in 15 years. Maybe you secretly fear you actually aren’t that good at it. Maybe it is keeping you from trying again. Maybe it’s time to let yourself grow – with that small, inexpensive three-legged stool project, or with signing up for a class through the local University extension, or by thinking through whether you need to find time for more deep, contemplative rest. What do you need to do that is not being blocked by a lack of time or funds, but instead is being blocked by some interior level of self-doubt or acedia?
5. Give something away.
Do you have an abundance of anything? (I mean, other than zucchini. If you’re giving away zucchini, it had better be in bread, cake, or muffin form, if you value your friendships.)
Every summer, for example, our front cutting garden gives forth an abundance of flowers: iridescent purple larkspur; intricate yellow columbines; steady purple coneflowers; and carnations in all shades of red and pink. The thing about flowers like these is that the more you cut them, the more they bloom. So why not share them? About this time each year an e-mail goes out from our family to our local circles that says something to the effect of, “Come by anytime and pick yourself a bouquet.” We also bring bouquets over to the church down the road every week.
Why not share your particular bounty, too? Sharing like this feels wonderful and builds opportunities to have little, casual interactions with friends and acquaintances. It can really cheer you up. And if you don’t want to talk to people (sometimes I don’t!), just make sure everyone knows they are welcome to pick even if you aren’t home or can’t answer the door.
6. Take a screen break.
A real one, for a solid week or more (except for work, or whatever you absolutely must do online). Notice what happens. You don’t have to change your screen habits forever, and you’re in charge of how you design your screen break! But a screen reset is good every once in a while to remind us that we are not machines, and that we need to look around periodically and reassess. Plus, I bet you’ll find that your house will be cleaner, you’ll get more work done, you’ll eat better, and you’ll play more with your kids or grandkids. Or, if you feel in the end as though the experiment has failed, read this.
7. Take a cookie ramble.
Keep cookies or brownies or candy or popsicles stashed in the freezer for the really bad days, and when everyone is falling apart, stop and go on a cookie ramble. The worst thing that can happen is that everyone stays cranky, but you personally have gotten some fresh air and have gotten to eat a cookie. Pairing movement with food usually makes things seem more fun.
8. Practice porch sitting.
Don’t have a genteel porch with Cracker Barrel rocking chairs? That’s fine, too. Try driveway sitting. If you’re lucky enough to have a firepit for making s’mores or a hand-crank ice cream maker with which to draw the neighbor kids in, just sitting outside in full view can create a very relaxed social opportunity. If there’s something you need in order to make this pleasant, such as better chairs or a patio umbrella or a kiddie pool or that ice cream machine, keep your eye out for used versions or for people willing to share theirs. If all else fails, put it on next year’s Christmas list and start saving.
9. Tend your relationships.
Mid-year is a good time to evaluate the state of your friendships and family relationships. Which ones would benefit from deepening or other tending? Where is your social circle a little thin? Do you need more friends who are open to emotional intimacy? Or, alternatively, more friends who enjoy parallel play and are good company when you feel like doing, not talking? Break out some of those cookies from the freezer and make plans to get together with a friend old or new. Or take a few minutes a couple of times per week to practice “teatime discipleship” with those closest to you: spouse, children, parents, siblings, godchildren. Men, do it with a beer or while fishing or however works best for you if you don’t want to sit at a table with a cup of tea or coffee. Feed the body, give attention to the individual, and you will be giving someone the gift of feeling appreciated and known. And you’ll receive ample rewards in return.
10. Loosen up a little.
Make a list of secret, surprising things to do when everything seems boring, melancholy, or hard. I cannot overstate the glee and surprise and joyful disbelief that erupts in my home when my kids ask me why I’m making a pie and I say, just casually, “I thought we’d have pie for dinner.” Not for dessert – for dinner.
Remember that time when you, 2,000 miles away from my house, turned to your spouse one afternoon and said, “I think I just heard something, did you?” Yep. That was you hearing my kids cheering from all the way across the land, in my kitchen.
So say yes to donuts after church – let the kids have a sleepover on the living room floor – set up the tent in the back yard – do a little treasure hunt in which the prize is a bowl of popcorn, chocolate chips, and mini marshmallows. Have a movie marathon. Go to Costco or Whole Foods just for the free samples.
Find a way to use your muscles to work out all that extra cortisol and adrenaline from the stress of the twelve long months past. Chop wood – and teach your son and daughter how to use a hatchet safely. Tell somebody the truth about how you’re feeling today. Let yourself have the extra cup of coffee. Let yourself take the after-dinner walk that you don’t have time for. Let the baby empty an entire box of tissues, one tissue at a time, and watch him shriek happily with each one. Look up at the tall sycamores silhouetted so precisely against the violet evening sky.
Life goes on during the summer, with deadlines, rising grocery prices, cranky toddlers and teenagers, and all the rest. Don’t let it get you down. We may as well also go on with the fun!