I finished my Gilder-Lehrman seminar in Moore, Oklahoma at at 3:30pm on Monday afternoon. I then headed to the Will Rogers World Airport (yes, that is its real name) in Oklahoma City to catch my 5:05 flight to Chicago O’Hare where I would have a very short layover before catching my flight home to Harrisburg.
I won’t bore you with all the details, but I did not make it home until early this morning (Wednesday). I spent Monday night in an airport hotel in Oklahoma City and about fifteen hours in O’Hare on Tuesday.
I know that many people have been stranded in airports for longer periods of time than this, but I still can’t resist noting some of the things I learned during the entire ordeal:
- It is not very comforting to fly out of an airport named after a guy who died in a place crash.
- Airports will negotiate “distressed” rates with hotels if you are stuck in a city as a result of bad weather.
- An airport hotel bar on a weeknight has to be one of the most depressing places on the planet. People want to talk about “back-masking” on Led Zeppelin albums or how they deal with unwanted calls from telemarketers.
- Airport hotels are often less clean and more rundown than most other hotel rooms. (And I stayed in one of the nicer ones in Oklahoma City).
- Airport hotels pride themselves in running 24 hour shuttles to and from the terminals, but they stop room service at 8pm. (Or at least they do in Oklahoma City)
- Airline representatives in Oklahoma City like to make fun of the fact that Oklahoma City does not have any nice airport hotels.
- Going on “standby” for a flight is not fun.
- If you are stuck in an airport for more than 12 hours and have a laptop, spend the $7.95 for Internet access. It is worth it.
- It is very difficult to find an electrical outlet in an airport, but if you are persistence you can always locate one, even if it may mean that you will have to sit on the floor in the the concourse.
- It is hard not to gain weight in an airport. Or, to put it differently, it is hard to order the salad when the Cinnabon stand is staring you in the face.
- Most people who snatch up the emergency exit row seats on an airplane are under six feet tall. If you are 6’7″ and notice this, it is OK to give the “short” person in the exit row seat a dirty look as you attempt to squeeze yourself into your regular seat.
- If you are sleeping during the beverage service, a good flight attendant will come back later in the flight to see if you are awake and re-offer you a drink. I always recommend ginger ale. It calms the stomach.
- If you are going to some small airport like Harrisburg, you can expect that your gate will be changed at least twice, but perhaps as many as seven times.
- If you are 6’7″ and trying to find your seat on one those small commuter jets, be prepared for at least person who is already seated to look at you and say “Wow, you are tall” or “These planes weren’t made for people your size.” Or something similar.
- If you are 6’7″ and are lucky enough to land an exit-row seat, it is likely that the person in front of you will not put his seat into the reclining position. But if you are not able to land an exit seat, and are forced to contort your body into a regular sized seat with no leg room, the person in front of you will recline every time.
- If you do buy the airport Internet service and you can’t seem to connect, do not spend close to two hours on your cell-phone with Boingo technical support. Instead, just try moving to another part of the terminal.
- If the TSA K-9 unit is training dogs in the terminal and the dog starts sniffing your seat or your bag, do not pet the dog. You will get yelled at.
- After waiting for 30 hours to get home, when you do get on your connecting flight it will inevitably be delayed. The pilot will get on the speaker and apologize for the “slight delay.” You will then lean to the guy next to you and say “SLIGHT DELAY! I have been waiting to get home for 30 hours!”
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